|Marena, Jen, me, NYC.|
The other day, I decided that an important thing that I needed to do was write out some quotes and tape them to my wall.
Well, if there is one thing I’ve learned about myself while being on a college campus 24/7, its that I tend to lose sight of inspiration and inexplicably become rather depressed. Worse yet, I’ve been known to make hasty and rash decisions. Some for the better (quitting the cross country team in order to pursue my personal dreams more efficiently), some a little foolish (getting a dramatic haircut I didn’t really want), and some best described as not well-thought out (no need to go there).
The point is, I truly believe that most of this—the need for inspiration, the impulsive decisions—stems from my yearning for spontaneity in my life. Along with that, I’ve been obsessing over this idea of living aesthetically. This partially comes from a recent class lecture in my theater history class about Aestheticism and all the well-known aesthetes (otherwise known as Oscar Wilde). I seemed to identify with the ideas of living life artistically and beautifully. The idea of how important beauty is resonates with me—but not for the sake of my own personal vanity or narcissism, but more-so for the sake of everything I do in my life just being… lovely.
Sadly, I don’t believe that some of my recent actions aimed at spontaneity have been necessary or interesting enough to even involve a drip of aestheticism. I need to remember that occasions that are regarded as spontaneous should be wonderfully grand and beautiful. They should involve a little bit of a fantasy and living like I’m not used to… but in a less reckless or careless way.
A grand example of this would be the fact that, as mentioned in a previous post, I recently went to NYC on (somewhat) of a whim with my friends Jen and Marena. The whole idea of the trip was lovely: we just wanted to enjoy the beauty of such a grand city. We didn’t want to buy ridiculous souvenirs, eat at a massive Hard Rock Cafe, or indulge in other (in my opinion) silly tourist attractions. Instead we wanted to wear fabulous clothing and wander the sparkly streets of Manhattan at night, walk down Park Ave. for macaroons, and pretend that we were fabulously-sophisticated New Yorkers.
The aestheticism in this is that real New Yorkers don’t really, constantly live this way. Our idea really is a fantastical vision of what New Yorkers regularly do in a perfectly appealing paradise. And this is what makes the whole spontaneous experience so majestic and whole.
Now going back to the quotes that I mentioned above—they included:
“You live but once; you may as well be amusing.” -Coco Chanel
“If you have good thoughts, they will shine out of your face like sun beams and you will always look lovely.” –Roald Dahl
“Luxury is not a necessity to me, but beautiful and good things are.” –Anais Nin
“Always keep your eyes open. Keep watching. Because whatever you see can inspire you.” –Grace Coddington
These all hold great meaning to me because it seems to me that I sometimes over-analyze what it is that can make life beautiful. Yes, going to New York on a whim was splendidly splendid and inspiring, but I can create my own inspiration closer to home as well. And if I keep going on thinking I can’t, then I’m wasting my time wherever I end up.
The beauty is everywhere, whether man-made or in nature—though the aesthetes may not agree with the latter completely. Regardless, it is my responsibility as an individual to create my own beautiful, aesthetic journey.