Sunday, May 27, 2012

A Senior Will to My Hometown


As graduation begins to inch closer and closer to me and my still ever -shrinking senior class, I have realized that like most of the people in the CHS class of 2012, I forgot to do a senior will. However there still are some things I would like to leave to my classmates, teachers, and more importantly, the town of Christiansburg. So here we go; a senior will for my hometown. 

Photo by Rob Williamson
     To my best friends Lana, Migayla, Benton, Dylan Darling, Maggie Ross, Shmashly, I leave my ridiculous facial expressions, voices, and my trade mark wittiness (just go with it). To my "sister", Alley Baby, I leave my guidance and concern that you will always make the best decisions and not do anything I wouldn't do (right?). To my brother, Neal, I leave my loud, obnoxious and above all embarrassing "HEY NEAL!"'s as I passed by you in the hallway.  To the junior girls that intimidated me, you guys are really cool, so I leave you my uncool swag that everyone should have a little of. To the boys at CHS I leave you the idea that you should never be mean to girls or anyone. To the couples at CHS I leave my constant desire to spray you with a water gun or hit you with an umbrella while you made out in the hallways. To the teachers that got to know the true extent of my crazy, I'm sorry. To the teachers that didn't, I'm sorry. To Ms. Miller I leave my legacy as her acting protégée, hope you can find someone as insane as I am. To the majority of the administration at CHS... I'm sorry what is your name again? To my coach Shane Guynn, thanks for being the Jack Donaghy in my life and always dealing with my crazy; I leave the nearly impossible idea that you could ever coach someone like me ever again; also my "ridiculous" outfits (your words). To Christiansburg High School, I leave the exact same thing my my dad left you 25 years ago: my charisma, my constant singing and performing (better known as being a massive ham), my school spirit and spirit in general, and my affinity for dressing like David Bowie. Moving to the town of Christiansburg. To the pervs that honk at me and yell things like "I luh yo baaaahhhhhdayyyy" or "Damnnnnn gurrrrrllll" as I'm running down the limited sidewalks in Cburg, I leave my eternal thanks for making me run faster. To the jealous bee-yotches that yelled at me to "Put some damn clothes on", I leave the eternal middle finger and a "Suck my d**k!". To the many gas stations and fast food restaurants I had to stop at to use the bathroom while on runs, well you know what I left. Sorry bout it. To my neighbors I leave the constant, joyous sound of me singing my heart out while taking a shower with the windows open. I know you can hear me, I just don't care. To the friend's parents that did like me, I leave the memory of me getting up early at your house and often having a nice awkward conversation with you. To the employees of every coffee place in town, I leave the memory of a girl who spent 5 mins deciding which kind of mocha frappe latte froo froo blah blah blah drink to order. To the employees of Barnes&Noble I leave the memory of a girl who always left her Usweeklys and People magazines on the coffee table and Cook Books beside the cozy chair. To my parents, I leave my appetite (not trying to gain the freshman 15), my ridiculous obnoxious, hysterical behavior, and my bedroom... to keep clean! If I come back and its your new yoga studio, you guys have another thing comin'. To the entire town of Christiansburg, I leave legacy for nerdy white girls who have a knack for embarrassing themselves. I also leave this quote: 

"Some people say, 'Never let them see you cry'. I say, if you're so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone." -- Tina Fey

Also

"High School?! How did you do it?!" 
-Daniel Tosh

EE

Friday, May 11, 2012

Greece Peace

First of all I just want to state how ironic the title for this post is considering the economic turmoil occurring in said country right now. The title is referring to the "inner peace" that I will hopefully experience while on vacation in the Mediterranean country, and not intended to sound like a ignorant statement about a certain vacation spot. Please accept this disclaimer and keep reading.
Photo by Eliza Eaton
So as many of my close friends know, my family and a couple other families are taking a trip to Greece in early summer. There will be tours, sight-seeing, eating, and shopping, I'm sure. For this trip, I am beyond excited and have been looking forward to it for some time now. However I am aware that there are some pre-trip remedies that I should consider so as not to look like an hairy, albino, American tourist. Instead, the goal is to look like an All-American, beach babe with tan skin and wavy blonde hair, who hails from Southern California like all Americans do in the U.S. of A!!!!

1. Tanning
So I'm between these two tanning salons that I want to try before...... JUST KIDDING!! I would never step foot in a tanning bed/ cancer coffin! But it would be nice to be on the more olive skin tone side than my current skin hue, loose-leaf white. In order to achieve this, I plan on drowning my body in tanning oil, laying out for 2 minutes, getting bored, deciding to listen to my iPod, eventually getting restless, and after 7 whole minutes of sun exposure, going back inside and eating a bowl of frozen yogurt while watching some show about wives or cake.

2. Hair Removal
To be more than blunt, I'm very hairy. Shaving can only do so much for my bikini lines, legs, arms (yes, arms), etc. And while I'm on vacation, the last thing I want to worry about is shaving of any kind. I've payed to get waxed before but its just so expensive and who needs that kind of pain inflicted on them for so much money. So instead, I opt for a cheaper way of torture: Self waxing. It hurts like hell, you have to psych yourself out, and sometimes (since I'm not professional and all) there are minor injuries. But its cheap, non-embarrassing (unless the injuries occur on your face) and you can do it in the privacy of your own home. Warning: Excessive cursing will occur.

3. Shopping
So I'll admit, I'm a girlie girl. I'll shop some days. I normally like to have a certain thing I'm shopping for though, and I like to be able to find it almost right away or else I'll just give up (short attention span/ ADD problems). So when it comes to finding things for Greece I've looked at every Instyle or Lucky magazine I can find and then go to Target to find the cheap polyester alternative. I'm thinking simple, light, loose fitting pieces that have lots of color in them. That way A) I'm comfortable, B) I'm wearing non-complicated things that would be able to remove and put back on quickly (you know in case we go to a church or something) and C) bright colors will make me visible in case I wander off and get lost.

If I can achieve all this and more, I will be all but unprepared to really make my mark in Greece... right?

EE


Tuesday, May 8, 2012

I Could Jump Over the Moon Up Above

{Why I grew up loving musicals}
Photo by Larisa Crockett 
1. The obvious: I used to (and still kinda do) wish life was one big musical
Basically, I was one of those little kids that walked around singing all the time. OK.... honestly I'm one of those annoying people that does that. However, I promise I realize that 90% of the time I don't sound good. But ever since seeing Singing in the Rain at such a young age, I used to constantly pretend I was Gene Kelly; unsuccessfully jumping onto the sides of light post, singing the incorrect gibberish rather than the actual lyrics to the song, and making up my own form of tap dancing. Most of the times my parents loved it, but obviously there are still times when they have to remind me that theres a time and place for everything.

2. I wanted to wear costumes all the time. ALL the time.
This is where being in dance classes came in handy. I always had leftover ballet costumes, excessively sparkled, sequined, and feathered (the pink chicken year... yikes), and lots of funny leotards to wear. Thankfully my parents fully supported me wearing costumes rather than real clothes... most of the time. However playing in the sandbox on a rainy day in my mom's old sweethearts dance dress was one of those times when... well... that's a sore subject. Lets not go there.

3. I always connected to the quirky best friend characters rather than the principle ones... they always had the best songs.
My most favorite character of all time (and oddly not a female) Cosmo Brown from Singing in the Rain and his iconic song "Make 'em Laugh" made me want to sing and dance all the time. I used to pretend I was him jumping off the walls and running in a circle while laying on the floor. Other characters I absolutely couldn't get enough of: Lois Lane from Kiss Me Kate, Frenchie from Grease (I was her for Halloween once), Ado Annie From Oklahoma!,Glinda the good witch from Wicked, as well as the wicked witch from The Wizard of Oz.

4. Oddly enough, my love for musicals has helped me meet some of my best friends
Specifically my friend Alanah who likes all the same musicals as me. Our favorites are the ones with the most upbeat, tap dancey, belt worthy songs. Some of them we've watch so many times that we could just give each other that "look" and immediately go into the choreography and singing of Don Lockwood and Cosmo Brown singing "Fit as a fiddle and ready for love/ I could jump over the moon up above!" complete with the fake fiddles and tap shoes.

EE