Tuesday, January 15, 2013

I know you guys didn't watch but... My thoughts on the Golden Globes!

Photo from this website

    The other night I watched the infamous Golden Globes in what seemed like the first time in forever. First of all, I guess being a strict Oscar snob the past several years as spoiled me into thinking that every awards show venue is as triumphantly huge as the Kodak Theater, excessive number of balcony seats and all. To my surprise, the size of the ballroom, where the Globes are hosted, reminded me of a Sheraton Convention Center. And all these random movie stars would just pop out of nowhere and all I could think was, “Where the hell are you hiding these people, HFPA?”

    In an attempt to chronicle my take on the Globes, I hope not to emulate that of the Usweekly website’s editorial on the subject (and I hope to God that my writing is slightly better than theirs).  But the show was definitely interesting and there are several items that I just simply must share my thoughts on.

   First of all, let me just state a fact: Amy and Tina were a smashing success. Maybe I’m biased because they’re two of my favorite comediennes ever, but can you really not laugh at jokes about A) Taylor Swift! Muhaha B) Meryl Streep being amazing in anything she does, including having the flu, and C) noting the yearly assembly of the average sell-outs of television and the pretentious, pretty people of film.

    Other than Amy and Tina’s brilliant zingers (Usweekly used this word in their article… #SynonymProblems), I thought it was pretty funny to see that Selma Hayek and Paul Rudd didn’t actually know what they were doing at the Globes. Also, who can forget Kristen Wiig and Will Ferrell’s bit before presenting best Best Actress in a musical or comedy. (Btw, I heard Les Miserbles was one of the best musical comedies of the year!) I digress to say that my best friend Alanah and I did the same entrance on stage at a Choir Show in high school, so I’m flattered to have been honored by greats such as Wiig and Ferrell in that way. But also I must say that if producers don’t catch the hint that those two should be hosting next year, then I don’t know what else society has to live for.

    What can be more notorious about awards shows than the acceptance speeches? I kept hearing the ones from winners  like Jessica Chastain, Annie Hathaway, and Jennifer Lawrence, and while all speeches were moving and sweet, I just wanted to scream at them, “Save it for the Oscars!!” It seems like the Golden Globes always get all the good speeches because a majority of the time, the Globes are only a preface to the Oscars. Now when Anne Hathaway wins best supporting actress at the Oscars she just going to be like this.

Anyway
For my last bit on the Globes, I’ve made a small Golden Globes Superlative List~

Most likely to win lots of awards despite being reviewed by more than a few as “sub-par”: 
Les Miserables
Most likely to sound like the old ladies from Monty Python’s Flying Circus during an acceptance speech:
Adele
Best Dress:
Tina Fey and Kristen Wiig
Best “What the Hell!” Dress:
Lucy Liu
Best “What the Hell??” Dress:
Helena Bonham Carter
Best Couple:
Tina Fey and Amy Poehler
Oddest Couple:
Jessica Alba and her furry bag.
Best Hair and Acceptance Speech Combination:
Anne Hathaway
Worst Hair:
Keith Urban
Most likely to make you feel very moved and at the same time, slightly weird:
Jodie Foster
Most likely to put a smile on my face:
Taylor Swift looking like it’s a surprising disappointment that she didn’t win best song.  LOL!
Most likely to randomly be at every awards show for no reason:
Heidi Klum
Most likely to appear out of no where at every awards show to present the last award:
Julia Roberts
Best surprise:
Girls winning everything.

Also, the only movie I’ve seen out of any of the ones nominated is Moonrise Kingdom.
HA!


 EE

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